jtc. the blog.

Phil Spector gets 19 years to life

2009-05-30T18:25:00.000-07:00

Read it and weep (if your a Spector fan, that is!)

I'm beside myself with this one. Not for a minute did I believe he was innocent of the crime, of course - but I simply couldn't imagine this larger-than-life and one of the greatest record producers of all time, an icon, the creator of the "Wall of Sound" actually getting convicted and sent away. Ok, sure - he commited murder ... but ... well, he produced The Crystals and gave us "Da Doo Ron Ron" - now that has to count for SOMETHING, no?

And time to perform!

2009-05-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

Yes, this is something I must do more of in the company of other people, or even just for a recording. I get so nervous playing in front of people that I end up making silly mistakes I wouldn't have made otherwise; I need to get over this, and that simply means doing it more often until I'm comfortable. Oy!

Here's one thing (of many) that I find so very interesting about my favorite pianist of ALL-TIME, Glenn Gould: Glenn didn't like performing in front of other people and concertizing ... and that's probably putting it lightly. I remember seeing this one clip where you could see the sweat pouring down his face as he played. Perhaps it was for another reason, but it looked like anxiety to me. Anyway, but the thing is, Glenn LOVED recording in the studio - and wasn't nervous about this at all. The way I see it, you're still performing in front of people (the recording engineers, at least), and I, myself, would be just as nervous as if performing a live concert. If he didn't know any better, one might be tempted to think Glenn used the recording studio as a way to make up for mistakes and imperfections in his playing by editing/splicing various takes - but this is not the case. I recall reading one recording engineer commenting that Glenn Gould needed fewer retakes than any other musician he had worked with in his career, and most of them were due to changes in interpretation, phrasing, etc. and not mistakes.

Another area I really need to work on is my sight-reading. I've decided I'm going to make myself play out of a hymnal every day to help this along. I've resolved to do this before, but I mean business this time - after all, what am I waiting for? The only problem I can see using a hymnal as a tool for sight-reading is the fact that the harmony and voice leading changes more or less on every beat, so rhythmically you don't really run into the challenges you'd find all over the place in other types music. But I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I come to it, and worry about proficiency reading out of the hymnal first.

So it's time to write!

2009-05-30T05:13:00.001-07:00

I really don't know exactly what the purpose of this blog will be other than the experience of journaling, which I feel would be really good for me in terms of "getting stuff out". In another life I used to write quite a bit, and read voraciously, but these traits have fallen by the wayside now for too many years.

So, I'm feeling very torn right now in terms of my sobriety. In that, since my relapse, I don't feel 100% confident about making a decision to stay sober. My sponsor is not happy with this attitude at ALL, needless to say. But I don't know what to do, because I'm *pretty* sure my life will be fucked if I start using again, yet at the same time I can't deny that I love amphetamines and WANT TO DO THEM. I've tried to "manage" my using; perhaps some people can do this, but not I.