I really don't know exactly what the purpose of this blog will be other than the experience of journaling, which I feel would be really good for me in terms of "getting stuff out". In another life I used to write quite a bit, and read voraciously, but these traits have fallen by the wayside now for too many years.
So, I'm feeling very torn right now in terms of my sobriety. In that, since my relapse, I don't feel 100% confident about making a decision to stay sober. My sponsor is not happy with this attitude at ALL, needless to say. But I don't know what to do, because I'm *pretty* sure my life will be fucked if I start using again, yet at the same time I can't deny that I love amphetamines and WANT TO DO THEM. I've tried to "manage" my using; perhaps some people can do this, but not I.
About Me
- jtc
- Bay Area, California, United States
- I'm a musician (piano and organ, as well as an aspiring harpsichordist). I'm primarily interested in the study and performance of Early and Baroque period music. Not at all surprisingly, while I do like the piano and much of its standard repertoire well enough, I greatly prefer the harpsichord; I'll generally take a chamber music continuo over a modern symphony orchestra any day ;-) I also have a background in system administration and am very much interested in computer operating systems and the Unix operating system in particular.
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